My mom is.
You know, she's... She's this kind of hippie.
So she's not really into the corporate thing.
And my dad left home when I was 4,
so, you know, I never really got to know him.
His family had money,
but, uh, he was this kind of artist
you know, in quotes, slash druggy.
Uh, he was in this cult for a while.
Do you, do you... Let's get out of here.
Do you want to, like, take a walk or something?
I'm like, uh... Now that I've told you my entire life story.
Sure.
Although, uh, there isn't much left to talk about.
Really?
# Still a little bit of your taste #
# In my mouth #
# Still a little bit of you laced #
# With my doubt #
# Still a little hard to say #
...wear these giant muumuus that were see-through.
# What's going on # They were see-through?
Yeah. That's cool.
# Stones taught me to fly #
# Love taught me to lie #
Thank you.
So...
# Life taught me to die #
# So it's not hard to fall #
Right.
# When you float like a cannonball ##
You want to see my dorm room, maybe?
Hey, don't get the wrong idea.
L... I don't invite guys to my room often.
Or ever, actually.
Okay.
Oh.
I'm having a major college flashback here.
Aw, come on, old man.
My roommate's out for the night.
Really? She's, oh...
I was really looking forward to meeting her.
Yeah, she's only mildly chemically imbalanced.
Ta-da!
Oh.
Yeah, this is awesome.
Yeah, it's okay.
Uh, I heard this rumor
that alcohol impairs your judgment.
I wish you weren't so beautiful.
I'm not.
No, Alex. You are.
Thank you.
Well, it looks like everything's perfect.
So why are you still talking?
What?
Oh, nothing.
I was just thinking about how my dad said
he put surveillance cameras in the building.
That's...
That's hilarious.
Where to now?
You're all going to the 29th floor.
Oh, great. I hear there's, uh,
fantastic air-conditioning on that floor.
Hey, Dan, how's your commute?
Can you believe we're moving offices already?
By the way, first b-ball game against the 51st floor corporate VPs.
So, uh... Oh, weird. I guess that's this floor now.
What's wrong with you?
Me? Um... Are you... Nothing. Um, nothing.
You're acting jumpy.
Did you switch from mocha to crack?
Whoa, Dan. That's, uh...
You're coming off really paranoid right now.
You're weirding me out, buddy.
Crack. That's...
# Well, it's so good #
# I didn't have to make it #
# It's so good # Hey, Alex.
Haven't talked to you in a few days.
It's your dad, by the way.
Give us a call.
# 'Cause I'm ten years ahead #
# And you're the echo of the things I say #
# Yes, I'm ten years ahead #
You understand this is totally demoralizing for me, so...
Sorry.
I don't think you should force it, honey.
Don't force it.
Don't say it.
# Well, it's no good #
# Revolving around me #
Hey, Alex.
Uh, left a message for you at the dorm and on your phone.
Guess you have your cell phone turned off.
Give us a call.
# When you cannot reach me #
I'm fired?
# 'Cause I'm ten years ahead #
# And you're the echo of the words I say #
I'm sorry.
# Yes, I'm ten years ahead ##
But I've worked here for 5 years.
It's been an honor.
Okay, you ready?
Will you be okay with that thing?
Oh, yeah, fine.
Hey, uh, what's that big guy doing here?
He's one of the moving men.
Uh, I guess, uh, Steckle recruited him for his VP team.
Oh, that's fair.
Wonder if I can still dunk.
You could dunk?
Oh, yeah. Can't you? You're 26.
Heads up!
Whoa! Hey.
What's up?
Word on the street is, Teddy K.'s on the prowl.
Soon as he gets back from his around-the-world balloon trip,
he's gonna go munch on Continental Brands.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, great.
Maybe they'll advertise in the magazine again.
I'm sorry, who are you?
Mark, this is Dan Foreman.
He's the one I was telling you about,
helped us close that Toys 'R' Us deal.
Oh, Carter's being modest.
He did most of the work. Aw.
That's beautiful.
Maybe you two should get a room.
You pussies ready to get schooled?
Oh!
Not in my house! No, no, no.
Do it, baby. Do it, baby. It's for me. For me.
Go ahead, donkey!
You can't guard me.
Get down. Get down there!
Mine. He's mine. Help. Help.
Yes!
Let's go! Get down, Jimmy.
Yo, Krouse! Fist! Fist!
That's right! Move! Come on. Come on.
I'll take the big man.
Hey, ease up, my man.
You're gonna have a heart attack.
What's the matter? Can't take a little D?
Open! Get open!
Let's go, Dan! Yes!
Yeah, yeah! Throw it down!
Dunk it!
Oh, shit.
I'm okay. I'm okay.
I'll be right back.
Just give me a second.
Damn.
This is Alex's cell phone.
Please leave a message. Thanks.
# Eyeless in the morning sun #
# You were pale and mild, a modern girl #
# Taken with thought, still prone to care #
# Makin' tea in your underwear #
# You went out in the yard to find ##
What's her name?
Who? What? Who?
The fish.
Oh. Uh, it's a he. And, uh, his name is Buddy.
Ah.
Does Buddy want a friend?
Buddy had a friend. Um, he ate him. So...
You mind if I, uh... uh...
Sure. Yeah. You... Yeah.
I want to, I want to ask you something.
Okay.
When, uh...
When you were 18,
did you ever return your parents' phone calls?
Uh, well, they never called.
But, uh, yeah, I'm sure I would've.
Well, my oldest daughter, she won't call me back.
And I feel like going down to NYU and kidnapping her
so I can stop worrying about her.
That sounds like a really bad idea.
Uh, look, Alex seems, um,
from the very brief time that I met her,
to be pretty savvy.
I don't think you have to worry about her too much.
She's a smart, terrific woman.
Girl. Or smart young lady. Whatever.
What I'm trying to say is that, uh,
I think she can probably take care of herself.
Dan, you seem to have the perfect marriage.
How do you do it?
You just pick the right one to be in the foxhole with
and then when you're outside of the foxhole,
you keep your dick in your pants.
Well, that's poetic.
Oh, my God. Did she outdo herself or what?
All right. Oh, yeah. Make way.
Coming through with the cake here.
Oh, hey, Theo. How's...
Hey, uh, where do I put this?
All right.
It's a rager, huh?
Okay.
Are you still glad you decided not to have a birthday party?
Yep, not in the mood this year.
Well, Mom says you could use a little fun.
She says you should lighten up for the sake of your health.
She does, does she?
They're here. Everybody hide.
You go ahead, sweetheart.
I'm going to check the mailbox.
Okay. Cool.
Quiet, he's going to be here in a second.
Surprise!
Surprise?
Dad!
Hey, Morty.
Hey, nice party.
Thanks for coming. Sure.
How are you?
Not so good, not so good.
I mean psychologically.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
Anyway, my wife got a promotion.
I'm hoping she'll raise my allowance.
But this is good punch.
Happy birthday. Good party.
You look... you look really beautiful.
Thank you.
And, um...
This is really not a big deal. But I, uh...
I got something for you.
It's not my birthday.
Go on.
Holy shit.
Wow! Are these real diamonds?
It's too expensive.
No. No, don't. No.
I feel funny.
I'm sorry. I don't... I mean, it's not... l... I...
It just felt good to...
It's sweet.
It's very sweet. Thank you.
You're the kind of person
that's it's good to be in a foxhole with.
We're not in a foxhole. We're in a Porsche.
A sling.
Yes.
Betsy, I wish you well, too.
Let's see, what... Wow.
And this could be what?
That's good. Epsom salts.
Do you like them?
Lmported from Jersey.
Don't tell me you already have some.
It's got that easy... easy-pour spout on it, too.
Special for you.
Thanks.
She waits.
Okay.
Hey.
Hi.
Sorry I'm late.
Work has been just nuts.
That's okay. I have a class at 3:00.
Oh, you're... You're wearing the necklace.
Yeah. Yeah. I feel like an impostor.
But it's nice. An impostor?
No, you look...
Hey. Doesn't she look beautiful?
She does.
Now, we have three specials today.
Avocado soup with awapuhi oil,
bluefin tuna with Awapuhi and jalapeno sashimi.
We have calamari fritti
with Awapuhi oil on the side.
We also have, uh, sicafreed lobster tail.
Can I get that with a side of Awapuhi oil?
Welcome. May I help you?
Oh, shit.
Hi, is there going to be a third?
I have just one question.
Are you sleeping with him?
I'm going to get you folks some bread.
Uh, Dan, this isn't what it looks like.
Oh, yeah? What does it look like?
Tell me. What do you think it looks like?
Well, I'm sure it looks like some kind of sleazy, tawdry...
Alex, I asked you a question. Are you sleeping with him?
What do you want me to say, Dad?
Get up.
What?
Get up.
Dad!
Pardon me, sir, but I don't think you should treat...
Back off, before I drop-kick you across this restaurant.
You are a piece of shit!
Dan, I love her.
You what?
I love her.
I love you.
You love her? She's my daughter.
She's in college. She's a college student.
I took out a fricking second mortgage so she could go.
Three years ago she was in braces.
I'm sorry.
This guy.
You had to sleep with him?
Dad, I...
Dad...
Dad.
Dad! Wait, I'm sorry.
This had nothing to do with you.
He's my boss, Alex.
I know. But it just happened.
We made a deal, remember?
We made a deal we'd always be honest with one another.
Dad, I was like 5 years old when we made that deal.
Yeah. I liked you better then.
That's awful.
That's an awful thing to say.
Dad, please don't walk away. I want to talk to you.
Why? You don't need my advice about anything.
Hey, you.
Hey.
Hey, Carter. Wow, that's some shiner.
Thanks.
Maya, could we have some privacy, please?
Sure. Absolutely.
Sit down.
Hey, can I get you some ice for that?
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Um, there's no ice.
But the soda's cold.
Oh, thanks.
Look, I wanted to apologize, uh, for my timing when...
Uh, with the "L" word.
It just kind of slipped out.
But I've been thinking about it a lot lately,
and it's how I feel. It's really important to me...
Oh, that's really sweet.
Well, I mean it.
I know you probably think you do.
But I-I've been doing a lot of thinking, too,
and I'm
taking anthropology classes.
And I'm doing a double major.
Yeah.
And I'm just... I'm really busy.
Yeah. Uh, I'm just not...
I'm not ready for a big commitment.
Yes, that's...
That's what I'm saying.
Look, when I said I loved you,
I didn't mean that I wanted to interfere in your classes
or, you know, whatever.
I'm not talking about marriage or anything yet.
Carter. Look.
I've had an amazing time with you,
and I think you're a great guy.
But you are on the rebound.
No, I'm not.
Carter, you are.
I mean, it was not that long ago that your wife left you.
Best thing that ever happened to me.
Well, that's great.
But then that's a good thing whether you're with me or not.
I think we should stop seeing each other.
Alex.
Alex, come on.
I just want you to know
I enjoyed talking to you more than
maybe anyone in my entire life.
Thank you.
Me, too.
Dad, where have you been?
Your cell phone was off.
I tried to call you like a thousand times.
What happened? Where's your mom?
There you are.
Are you okay?
I'm fine. Yes, I'm fine.
The baby's fine.
I had a little scare.
There was some bleeding.
What? What is it?
A placenta previa.
It sounds bad, but, uh, it's okay.
I just need some rest.
If anything ever happened to you, I'd just have to pack it in.
Oh, I'm afraid you're going to be stuck with me for a while.
How's she doing?
She's okay.
You know, I broke up with Carter.
Because of me?
No. Because of me.
I'm sorry I lied to you.
But, you know, I think you should know
that Carter didn't try to seduce me or anything.
If anything, it was the other way around.
I really don't want to hear the details.
I mean, unless you want to tell me, and...
No. No, not particularly.
Good.
You must think I'm disgusting.
Disgusting?
Why on earth would I think that?
I didn't know that you took out a second mortgage.
I don't need to go to NYU.
SUNY's fine. It's fine.
No, no, you are staying at NYU.
Look, Alex.
You're a really smart woman.
And you can take care of yourself.
And I'm going to try
and adjust.
You don't have to change, Dad.
Yeah. I do.
It's going to be okay. Muchachos!
Good. Hello, how are you? I know.
Tell him not to be late this time.
Hi, how you doing? Good to see you.
Hi. Oh, nice brooch.
Thank you, sir.
Must be paying her too much money.
Mark Steckle. Hi.
Ah, Mark Steckle, how are you?
Very psyched. How's it going?
Very good. Good, good.
Right this way. Hi.
How you doing? Nice to see you.
How are you? Good to see you.
Thank you.
Carter Duryea.
Oh, yes. Cell phones.
Yes. Thank you.
I'm at Sports America now.
Well, that's the flagship.
What happened to your eye?
Yeah, what happened there?
I fell... I fell asleep at my computer.
Just kind of banged right into the monitor.
Those things can be dangerous.
Keep up the good work.
I wouldn't be surprised
if he announces another big takeover today.
Teddy K.!
Great to see you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Synergy. What does it mean?
Why does a business swim with it
and sink without it,
in this new ocean of megabytes,
streaming video and satellites?
Every day,
the world becomes more complex.
And to survive in a complex world,
we need complex bonds to interface with it.
In this room,
I see this.
What we're trying to get to, is this.
This is unbreakable.
This is inevitable.
What are we building here? Is it a company?
Or are we building a new country with no national boundaries?
A new democracy for the consumer.
A new democracy with a new electorate.
24-hour music videos in Kuala Lumpur.
Computers with parts manufactured in Japan,
Greenland, Idaho, India.
A soft drink ad going out simultaneously
to seven different continents.
The Dalai Llama eating his Krispity Krunch
while uploading prayers onto the Net.
Woman's World magazine.
Well, why not Woman's World Channel across the world?
Computers.
Why not a computer section in Sports America magazine?
Uh, excuse me. Excuse me.
Yes?
Uh, uh...
Uh, my name is, uh, uh, Dan Foreman. I...
I work for Sports America and I'm not sure
l... I understand what you're talking about.
W- what I mean is... is
what do computers have to do with sports?
Are you... Are... are you literally saying
that there should be a section in the magazine
about computers?
Who's going to want to read that?
Um...
And, uh...
I- I'm not sure I understand
how the way the world is changing
is actually going to change how we do business.
We're still selling a product, right?
Which hopefully someone needs.
We're human beings with other human beings for customers.
So I don't see how this company is like its own country.
I mean, just because we sell different kinds of things,
that doesn't mean we should operate by our own laws, does it?
Besides which, countries, at least democratic ones,
they have some obligation to their citizens, don't they?
So how do layoffs
and bottom line thinking fit into that?
Dan Foreman.
Sports America.
You ask some excellent questions.
Excellent, excellent questions.
I'm glad you asked them.
And I'm leaving it to you,
to all of you, to answer them.
Hmm.
Teddy K.!
Teddy K.! Teddy K.!
Oh, my God, Dan. Oh, my God.
Good, you're both in here.
You, I'll talk to in a second.
You, have you lost your frigging mind?
Well, he said they were excellent questions.
Okay, you think this is funny.
You think it's funny to disrespect a great man.
Do you know who you were just talking to in there?
That was Teddy K.! Teddy K., God damn it!
Look, we've been carrying
your fat, bloated salary for way too long.
I want you out of this building
within the next 10 minutes.
I'm going to my office.
I'm going to smoke a nice Cuban cigar
and try to forget that you ever existed.
You, in my office now.
Mark, don't do that.
Excuse me?
Look.
The guy busts his ass and...
And what?
Nothing. I'm sorry.
I just... If you fire him,
you're going to have to fire me, too.
Wait.
Let me get something straight here.
You're throwing yourself in with him?
With this useless, over-the-hill loser?
Think here. Think about what you're doing,
because if you're not careful, you could end up like him.
I guess that that would be okay.
All right.
Then you're fired, too, you little shit.
Well, that's too bad,
'cause, uh, you're gonna lose a huge account that Dan and I've been working on.
It was gonna save the year for us.
Without it, the magazine's pretty deep in the red.
Really? What account is that?
You think we'd actually tell you?
You're bluffing.
I don't bluff.
I'm not that good of a salesman.
Yeah, well, I don't give a crap.
I think Teddy K. Will.
See, I'm gonna call him and I'm gonna tell him
that you single-handedly drove his most profitable magazine,
his flagship, right into the ground.
And he'll remember my name.
He likes what I did with cell phones.
You've got 24 hours, or you're both gone.
Any ideas?
One.
You got all your research?
Yep.
Follow my lead.
So, um, how are your daughters?
They're great. Thanks.
How about your grandkids?
Uh, they're fine.
My son-in-law has just enrolled our oldest, Ralphy,
in a computer camp, whatever the hell that is.
Uh, this is my boss, Carter Duryea.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kalb.
You have a really awesome company here.
You... It's a really awesome, awesome...
Your boss? He looks more like your nephew.
Well, I've, uh, certainly been learning a lot from Dan.
So what happened to your eye?
That's one of the things he learned from me.
Are you saying that you punched him in the eye? Why?
Well, it's... We don't have to really go into it here.
No, no, no, please, please. I'm... I'm... I'm rather curious.
Why did I hit you?
He called me a dinosaur.
He said I was out of date.
That I'd better step in line.
So you slugged him?
It was a fair fight. Hmm?
Right.
Mr. Kalb, we have a sister company, Krispity Krunch,
that I think we could do a really exciting cross-promotion with here,
all in the GlobeCom family. Carter, Carter.
I think that we could achieve...
Carter, it's ok. Mr. Kalb,
I don't want get into facts and figures with you today. You know them already.
I just want to ask you one question.
What is your hesitation
about advertising with Sports America magazine?
My hesitation is that our ad budget is already overextended.
My son-in-law has put a lot of money into cable and online.
And now he wants to plow even more money back into it. But...
But what?
But he is such an asshole!
I mean, I built this business.
I know more about running this than he ever will.
So, yeah. I'm gonna make a major ad buy in your magazine.
And then I'm gonna restructure the whole damn ad campaign.
That is great news. Thank you, Mr. Kalb.
Oh. Thank... Yes. Thank you so much, sir.
You know, I don't give a shit about Krispity Krunch.
Let's just stick with the magazine, okay?
You really slugged him?
Yeah. Carter.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, that was amazing.
That was unbelievable!
God, that was actually fun.
What Kalb really needed to see
was an old fart who beat the crap out of a young punk half his age.
And you know what the best thing is?
It's the right thing to do.
It will improve his business.
Wow, you actually, uh...
You actually believe in this stuff, huh?
Of course I do.
Why else would I do it? Hmm?
Hey, Dan. Where you been?
Los Ángeles.
We made a huge sale.
Congratulations. So did Teddy K.
He sold the company to CalCor Communications.
Mark! What happened?
I thought you said Teddy K. Was buying another company.
That's what they told me, but he sold us.
I'm out.
Wait, you're out?
Yeah. They're reorganizing the whole company.
You're out, too. I think you're in.
I'm in what?
Your old job.
What? Running the department?
That's the rumor.
The whole thing seems so arbitrary.
I feel used.
Yeah.
Kind of tough to know you're replaceable, huh?
I'm... I'm sorry you lost your jobs.
# Came in close, I heard a voice #
# Standing stretching every nerve #
# I had to listen, had no choice #
# I did not believe the information #
# Just had to trust imagination #
# My heart was going boom, boom, boom #
# Son, he said #
# Grab your things, I've come to take you home #
# Yeah, back home ##
Hey, Dan.
Hey, Carter. Come on in.
Have a seat.
Nice office.
Yeah.
So.
How have you been the last month?
I've been good. Really good.
It's a little weird, uh, not having to get up,
go to work in the morning.
That's why I want to talk to you.
I want to offer you a job.
I know we definitely had our moments.
But I think you're a good manager and a good salesman.
And I want you to come here and be my second-in-command.
Wow, Dan.
Uh, I... I really appreciate that.
Uh, more than you know. And I...
I think if I really want to do this for a living,
there's no one I could learn from more than you. But I...
Look, I don't know what I want to do with my life.
I know that I want it to mean something to me
the way that this means something to you.
Oh.
God, do you think I'm being stupid?
No. No. I...
I think that sounds right.
So how's the family?
Uh, Ann's fine.
Uh, the baby's coming Tuesday after next Tuesday.
Oh. It's a... It's a cesarean.
Dan, that's amazing.
Yeah, it is.
And, uh, both girls are...
They're doing well.
Good.
Please, uh, give them all my best.
Yeah.
Dan.
Thank you.
For what?
For...
I guess for showing me a few things.
No one ever really took the time to
give me a hard time before.
Or teach me anything that was
actually worth learning.
All right.
Now listen, Carter.
I want to tell you something.
You're going to be okay.
You think so?
Yeah. I know it.
You're a good man.
Don't be a stranger.
Morty?
Hey! You're back!
Yeah, back in the saddle.
And look at you. You're... you're...
You look like a delivery guy.
Oh, do you know Dan's daughter Alex?
Yeah. What are you doing here?
I'm surprising my dad. Tennis.
Alex is a fantastic tennis player.
She was a junior champ, right?
Really? Oh, you're into... You're into tennis, huh?
Yeah.
How is everything?
Good. Really...
Really good.
Um, I'm leaving town, actually.
I think I'm going to try teaching
or, um, maybe open an Awapuhi store.
I don't know. Uh...
How are you doing?
Good. Very good.
I've been working on some short stories.
Oh. That's awesome.
Well, I got a raise. Dan got me a raise.
Which is a good thing, because my wife just got laid off.
Timing's everything in life, right?
Right.
Well, good seeing you. Take care, Carter.
Yeah. Look, it was really great seeing both you guys.
You, too, Carter. It was...
It was really good to see you.
Bye.
Hi, guys.
Well?
Yes?
Wel, I'm delighted to say
that you have a baby sister.
Are you happy, Dad?
Yeah, I'm psyched.
Hello. Dan! Hey.
Oh, my God. Congratulations. It's amazing.
Do you have a name yet?
Oh, no, that's terrific.
Uh, probably because I'm jogging.
No, I'm outside.
Yes. I'm actually jogging outside.
# Please # Playa del Rey. Don't laugh.
# Remember me #
I'm thinking about getting into...
# Happily #
# By the rose bush #
# Laughing with roses on my chin #
# The time when #
# we counted every black car #
# passing your house beneath the hill #
# and up until #
# someone caught us in the kitchen #
# with knives #
# A mountain range #
# A piggy bank #
# A visión to removed to mention #
# But, please, remember me #
# fondly #
# I heard from someone you're still pretty #
# And then #
# they went on to say #
# that the pearly gates #
# are so eloquently repeated #
# Like words I've lost and found #
# And don't look down #
# And someone save temptation #
# And, please #
# remember me silently #
# In the car behind the corner #
# you hold my hand #
# between your knees #
# You turn from me #
# Said the trapeze, it was wonderful #
# But never meant to last #
# The clouds have passed #
# So we just come up with anger #
# And then #
# The circus moved #
# The parking lot #
# Hiding out, a hint of danger #
# So, please, remember me #
# fondly #
# You're my uphill crawl, my dear #
# But if I make #
# the pearly gates #
# Do my best to make a drawing of God #
# And Lucifer #
# A boy and girl #
# An ángel kissin' on a silkscreen of Mars #
# The aftermath #
# A marching band #
# All around the fray Just trapeze swinging ##